Future, Failures and FEARS!

What I Thought When I Started the Sea Portion and Why I Thought It

My love of the pacific ocean is derived from my childhood and no other national park, desert sunset, mountain peak, majestic lake, or inland adventure of any kind can give me the feeling that the Pacific does.  There is such an emotional pull. The view of atop Superior looking down on my past or turn the corner on PCH to see Crystal Cove reveal itself touch a part of me deep inside that no other place in the world can but the beauty of Big Sur, Carmel, Montery and the like, the majesty of Moro Bay, the solitude of the Northern Coast, the natural beauty of the PNW, there is nothing like it in the world of which I have basis for extensive comparison. When times are good, I want to share my history and love with anyone that will listen. When times are bad, it is my place of solitude, mindlessness and escape. However, my love has always been on the shore peering out onto the horizon.  Sailing was something I always admired but never thought attainable, I just never had the opportunity to learn, the cash to burn, the knowledge of what it really takes.  Now I have two out of three and I am working on the latter.

I was thoroughly enjoying my new life as a nomad with a couple of rescue dogs traveling the whole of

the west coast with plans to go even further.  My home is Newport Beach and after time on the road, the feeling of getting back to a familiar environment with familiar faces would outweigh the joys of traveling.  In those times I would return, I would slip back into a familiar routine of people, places and OCD.  It also included an abundance of downtime looking for new adventures, which are hard to come by in such a familiar place.  I don't know where the idea came from, or what motivated it, but I suddenly found myself in sailing school. If you have read previous post, you know the story so we can skip ahead.

I am called the grasshopper for a reason. I want what I want, when I want it and usually, I want it now, I put little thought into the reasons why I should wait.  In an RV, that was fine.  I had to learn to make wider turns and how not to burn it down.  I knew how to drive so if calamity happened, I would be protected physically by the rolling four walls that surrounded me and the insurance would pick up the tab.


Once I learned to sail, that was it! I could now expand my love of the pacific to include things that I never dreamed of.  So now, I have the gotta wannas, and it is not possible to talk me out of it! I did what I do and the series of comedies and tragedies brings us to this place in time.
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Sailing is a different animal than the RV, in so many ways i.e. purchasing, fixing and maintaining. Not knowing what I didn't know would kill me. But not knowing what I don't know has never stopped me because I will know with experience.  I learn by doing, that is my nature. However, educated people do not do quasi research that only supports a particular position but, I did. I wanted the dream to become a reality so desperately and so quickly. Aside from the romanticized videos of COUPLES circumventing the globe, I took particular interest in those that said they had zero sailing experience when they started but now seemed to be as comfortable under sail as they would be behind the wheel of a small automobile. I got excited by articles that said things like, "you just get on board into open water and start pulling on lines to see what they do....." Afer all, that IS my motus operandi in all things and it has worked quite well for me.

Leading the pack, Xiffias!

If you have followed along, I was blessed with a Cal 25 sailboat and as soon as the motor was working properly, I headed out for open ocean. No life jacket, no real understanding of Xiffias, no thought of things going wrong or what my response would be when they did, no idea how to work the VHF or who to call on my cellphone if I even had service out there.  I just wanted to be out there and, If I was really lucky, see some marine life.  Each time I went out it was during calm seas and the worst thing that happened, thank God, is seaweed getting tangled up in the propeller.

But then it all changed, in the confines of the harbor after a great trip out, disaster struck. Xiffy still bears the scars from that day but she hides them well. Me however, I was changed immediately. Once back on dry land, I ran far away scared and humiliated with my tail between my legs.  I had to deconstruct the event over and over in my mind to make sense of it all.  The problem was, I did not have the experience to draw from to come to the conclusion that "if I had only done this" or "next time I will do that."

Now I knew what it was to end up in the water in a moment of panic;  Now I knew what it felt like to see the boat drifting away; Now I knew that it was almost impossible to get back on the boat with its current configuration.  The actual event is not what scared me! I was in a closed harbor and I could swim to safety and just let the boat do its thing.  It was the thought of that exact thing happening on one of my thoughtless excursions out into the ocean.  Things got real in a hurry and safety became paramount.  My mentor, henceforth, mackrat, just rose in stature from overly-cautious, cantankerous old salty dog to sailing God. I learned what true surrender meant over the next couple of days as I thought through everything.  If he says no, I listen but I still question.  Not to be difficult but because he will not be with me in every situation and I want to know why he thinks the way that he does and what corner I am not seeing around.

What I Think Now and Why I Think It

I have some good experience on Xiffy now, mostly under motor around the harbor.  The open areas of the harbor do not pose any significant challenges because of my life long experience but the tight quarters were a challenge with boats and people, especially tourists with no sense or understanding of rights of way or basic etiquette.  But the dock posed the biggest challenge, coming and going.  With the placement of the motor in relation to the rudder, the effects of the wind on such a lightweight boat and my own technique that was not at all refined yet, it was a hard learning curve to get to the point that the butterflies left my stomach.  Now we are there and I have been tested various times with differing circumstances, winds, and obstacles to overcome. Each one is an experience that I can put in my pocket and now I handle the boat with confidence, IN THE HARBOR!

Experience has also taught me that I am not ready for open waters.  One day on choppy seas that mackrat laughs at, seeing how the boat gets tossed around, thinking of my previous disaster, and thinking of my dogs, the physical demands, working on the for-deck in those conditions, or worse, there is still much to learn in the way of technique, safety precautions and anticipation and most importantly, who to call, and when, if things go really bad. If I go into the water again, I want to be sure that it is not in a panic and that I have done everything to the boat to prevent it, for myself to be prepared for it, and a plan for any experience with a real probability.

So we get to Xiffy and how prepared she is.  She is water tight and very sturdy.  The VHF works perfectly and I do a radio check every time I go out.  Moreover, it is current enough to have a DSC button.  Why is this important?  Anything I do will be single handed and this is the final act of desperation if I cannot physically call a Mayday.  If I push the button, it will at least transmit my identity and location, that is if it were hooked up to a GPS!  Did I have that? NO! Do I have it now? Absolutely, but only after a false start.

As ready as she is though, she is a completely manual boat.  No furlers so sails are raised/dropped by hand; no lazy jacks so I wrestle with the sails flaking them as I go; no Windlass so anchoring will be by my alone.

Moving on to the next safety issue, is the standing rigging (the things that hold the mast up) ready for whatever comes my way? No!  I get teased all of the time for not having my sails up but this is the reason. The issue was discovered in a video I posted online on a moderate day. I received an urgent text from makcrat.  His instructions were never to do that again because he noticed the inner stays were flapping in the wind and that I was lucky the mast had not come down.  Great!  Something else to think about that I had not considered.  I did a lot of research on "tuning" the rigging and it is pretty straight forward, enough to get me on the harbor under sail on a calm day, but it will be professionally inspected and tuned before I take any kind of trip.  I have learned that assurance of, and confidence in, your boat is critical and I cannot say that I am there yet.  I know her history of racing in the open sea and I can look around to see that no expense was spared, but she sat for a while and a conversation with the previous owner is not possible.  Relying on my own understanding will never give me the full confidence so thankfuylly, not only is mackrat my guiding light but I have access to the skipper that won the class nationals with this boat and he HAS the intimate knowledge that I desire so.

Now on to the bigger question, am I ready physically and mentally for what I am about to undertake? Are the dogs ready for a life of being tossed around on a boat for hours on end.  The answer to both is NO!  For me, the physical limitations have really come to light.  My back is what my back is and sailing, especially single handing, is as hard as it is.  Then I have the shoulder that was injured recently and has not been the same since.  The neck with the herniated discs; the arthritis in the back and hands; the knee that is starting to act up and is quite painful when it does; the overall stamina and how I get worthless in a hurry once my energy is depleted.  I never pay attention to these things!  I push through them, until I can't, and then I rest.  Obviously this will not even be an option on the water.  So what to do?

I plan to get on a regimine to streangthen the muscles and build up the stamina that I will be able to test and confirm the results as I progress. But there is a burning quesiton in my mind that I have no answer for: what am I going to do, not if, but WHEN I throw my back out? Pain is one thing, OUT is another. Cant stand, can't walk, I am called Mr. Peanut when that happens because my body is so contorted by spasm.  I wish I could keep typeing here to lay out my plan, but I don't have one. I do know that If I have any chance, I have to figure out an Ice strategy!

My research now has really gone the other way altogether.  Rather then feeding the dream with unicorns and rainbows, I look for worst case scenarios in the form of videos, articles and questions to those that have been through it.  I was enamored with flying one of several racing spinnakers that came with Xiffy, with the carbon fiber pole and achieving racing speeds, all on my own!  And then I learned all about accidental jibes, Chinese jibes or whatever you want to call them.  I watched many videos very carefully and when such a thing happens it can be devastating.  I observed that most had a spinnaker flying and it was just a simple shift of wind that would cause things to go catty-wampus in a hurry.  But more importantly, I never saw a single instance of a single-hander going through the recovery process. Rather, I saw many accidental jibes with an experienced skipper at the helm with a capable crew that followed verbal commands, and there are many, to pull the spinnaker in and upright the boat.  Take my physical limitations and my experience level into consideration and the only question now is, do you want to buy a spinnaker sail or carbon fiber pole?

In the vein of what I call negative research, or disaster planning, I viewed many distress calls and understand the importance of communicating the facts e.g. position, boat specifics, lives on board, urgancy level, X-Ray-India-Foxtrot-Foxtrot-India-Alpha-Sierra, etc...; I have learned the importance of becoming a psuedo metorologist, plotting charts, reading charts and hazard markers, audible signaling, nav lighting basics of when, why and what it all means.  I have seen docking disasters as well as docking mastery under all conditions.  I have read about pirates boarding the boat; I have watched many MOB drills; I have seen engine failure, sail failure, rigging failure, and demasting (scary!)..... With all of this negative research I could easily slip into the mindset that I will never be prepared so I have to get back to just going and learning by experience. Otherwise, I would never go!

Before I head out I know I need some basic safety fundamentals and equipment, a lot of which has already been addressed.  I am not afraid to die at sea but not in a panic for lack of preparation!

Now the fun part.......Future Plans!

Once I have learned enough in my own environment,  in and around the harbor or within 10 miles of shore where all of the landmarks are so familiar, and under myriad conditions, I will embark on an inaugural trip to Catalina.  Everything I have seen and read indicates a motor out with a nice sail back in.  Certainly not my first time to the hill that meets the horizon that I grew up with, but definitely the first time on my own and on such a small boat!  As I write this, there is a race taking place with teams of outriggers going there and back.  Really? False confidence sets in again!

I think I will learn a ton from that trip about myself, the kids and Xiffy and, with that newfound knowledge, I hope to have a debriefing with mackrat, get any work done that I require, hone some techniques and then move on to the next leg of the overall journey. First though, I should probably learn how to drop and anchor and pick up a mooring!

Next step, move the boat North for several reasons.  First being the bottom paint.  It is the final, and most costly, to-do item left to be done to be able to call Xiffy fully resurrected and restored to her former magnificence, just as the previous owner had planned.  Needless to say, work like this is much more cost effective if performed any place other than Newport Beach, about half the price actually.

More importantly, the location fits perfectly into the bigger vision of harbor-hopping for the next year! I have inspected every significant marina from San Diego to Moss Landing and here is what I know. Going northbound is a lot of work and a lot of motoring due to prevailing winds, so south under sail is the way to go.  Having said that, the further up the coast I can go, the longer sail I will have south and the more marinas, harbors and coves I can hop.  Too far North, however, poses a real problem and dangers, doable but not fun at all so what would be the point.  So let's look at options......

Channel Islands Harbor Entrance

I have spent an abundance of time in the Ventura/Oxnard area and that seems to be the sweet spot.  I love the calmness of the community, especially Channel Islands Harbor as there are no real draws for tourists.  The downsides are food, shopping and entertainment options.  Shopping is close by and convenient but the neighborhoods can be a little dicey.  The area is very Betty friendly and she is a familiar vehicle to the local authorities due to her unique look and branding.  The dogs love it there and it is very familiar and friendly with big open areas of grass and an abundance of friendly beaches.  Cost of course is a consideration too.  At a third of the cost of what I am paying now to be in Newport, it is less than someone could rent a small room for!

Ventura Harbor

Ventura Harbor, on the other hand, is slightly more expensive, touristy with the Village, has my favorite restaurant right there and a lot more of a social scene.  The propinquity of the boat yard is convenient so the bottom painting, and other work on the hard, would be a breeze.  I have talked extensively with the marina manager and the boat yard about the details and the process and they are very reassuring and informative. Very dog friendly and guests would probably enjoy it more. The drawbacks are 1. it is not Betty friendly for more than 2 days per week WHEN I am allowed to stay on the boat and 2. seems to have a lot more crime in the harbor than most with outboard motors and other equipment knicked right off of the boats!

A choice will be made soon between the two.  The plan is to only stay long enough to get the work done, become familiar with the harbor and local islands (3 months) and then move on, South under sail of course.  Ventura makes sense for this reason as well since the first hop would BE to Channel Islands Harbor transiant dock!

To understand the plan, just look at a map from Ventura heading south and look at every marina and cove along the way.  Destinations would include MDR, Santa Monica, Long Beach, Huntington, Newport, Dana Point, Oceanside, San Diego........ and then the decision will be made whether to cross into Mexico. There are also a few cool little coves along the way with free anchorages!

Once concluded, the vision in my mind says that at that point I will be ready to execute the next part of the plan. Something will have to be done with Xiffy at that point. Hire somebody to sail/motor her back? Transport her by land? Sell her (gulp)?

That next part of the plan could be many things based on several factors.  Was it everything I thought it would be? Did I feel limited by coastal cruising and long for the blue waters more now than ever?  After all of the day trips, am I ready for weeks at sea?  How did my body hold up? How are my relationships? How are my finances?  How did the dogs like it? Have I overcome my fears?

If I can answer in the affirmative, it will give me permission to fully commit to the overall vision!  I will say nothing more about it other than to post this picture.

“Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.” -Mark Twain

"a mans reach should always exceed his grasp" -Robert Browning

I'm Going To Need A Bigger Boat!

Patience Grasshopper!!

Views on Retirement from the Grasshopper

Retirement! It's a big word that is loaded with planning, fear of how much is enough, joy from the freedom of what it affords and the ability to focus solely on passions of life that bring will happiness and peace.  Fear is the most powerful emotion of them all and what drives most people in the planning and decision making.  I for one have had three separate retirement and college funds wiped out by the economy i.e. housing market crash of the 90's, dot com crash of the early 2000's, and the biggest one in the 2008 (d)epression!  Each time, more fear and more anxiety because the length of time to grow the money was substantially less.

There is an evolution to the thought process as you age.  I will share mine and because maybe it's relatable.  Share this with a college-aged youngster with piss and vinegar coursing through their veins as a cautionary tale. Youth is wasted on the young, right?

When you are young (late-teens to early twenties, say), your old age seems impossibly far away. You are not yet aware of the way in which the lengths of the years shrink, relative to your entire lifespan, as you age. In terms of the psychological perception of the passage of time, the years pass more rapidly as you get older.

For entirely understandable and forgivable reasons, young people usually fail to realize just how lucky they are to be young, with all their physical and intellectual energy, their optimism, lack of cynicism and jadedness, and the many decades of life they have stretching out before them in which they can achieve their dreams (if they actually decide on their goals and then apply themselves to achieving them - which many, sadly, do not).

That was me! Young and strong but with a broken back that would be a constant companion for the rest of my life.  Had I known then what I know now just given that fact, would I have not been a bouncer, a construction worker, a weight lifter, etc. etc. etc.?  The answer is an emphatic yes!  My back would be a problem no matter what I did and, even young an healthy in every other regard, I did not limit myself in any way, except the ocean because the one thing I cannot do is tangle with the surf! The memories that I cherish from those early years far outweigh the consequences of my actions.  Most importantly, if I did not live by the sweat of my brow as a youth and discover that I had a knack for running a business, I would not have learned what I-did-not-know when I got wiped out the first time and then decide to focus on education.

So these were the early years, no thought of retirement AT ALL!  Now onto the mid years taking the lessons learned into account and forging a new path.

In business school I learned all kinds of simple lessons early that still shape the way I live, spend and eat.  Those coupled with growing up poor, having it and losing it, gives me a healthy fear and respect for money.  I now know there is a time-value-of-money and I understand compound interest. If I spend a dollar today on an impulse purchase, what did it actually cost if that dollar was invested and left to grow over the course of 20 years? God forbid you purchased it on a credit card with a high interest payment!

So, in this era, I was smarter and more purposeful with my money.  My first foray into the corporate world introduced me to the traditional wisdom of employer matched contributions into a retirement account.  I am not one to turn down free money so of course, max that out!  Nothing in my life experience had taught me otherwise and now I am in the corporate world,  I am educated so my finances would be stable for the rest of my life, right? Wrong!  I went all-in on this new thing called the internet and was smart enough to not go to work for a highly speculative .com, rather a large internet consultancy that brought fortune 500 companies into the digital age.  Transition or die or become roadkill was out mantra!  And then it all came crashing down, quickly and without mercy in February 2001 with the .com crash.

Not only did I lose my meager cash savings but I learned many valuable lessons in the process. First, if you reach a point of desperation where all other liquid resources are drained, the retirement funds are calling to you as a lifeline but the early withdraw penalties will undo any good that you have done in trying to plan for the future.  Second, there are no more gold-watch jobs so the thought of slowly building over a long period of time in the same career, with the same employer, are gone!  I had a baby and an ex by now so diapers, food and monthly payments HAD to be made, no matter what! Third, don't play the stock market by picking individual stocks, even if you think you are diversified.  Technology has made it so that most wealth is made in millisecond transactions based on information that is not even available to the retail investor!  Lastly, I was brought back to my core beliefs of what is really important, food, clothing and shelter!  As long as I, and my daughter had those three, I could rebuild! Financial wipe out #2 complete, and now its time to move on with a new purpose.

Statistically, I am now in my biggest earning years and that fact was not lost on me at all.  I had unlimited energy, physical strength, education and a daughter that I wanted to give a privileged life to. I used all of those attributes during this time, took some calculated career risks that paid off and money came easy.  I achieved financial independence by living below my means, never competing with the Jones' and thought I was now set on a firm executive path that could not be altered.  There was a Lottery commercial that gave you a peak into the insight of a winner when he walks into a grocery store, looks around and thinks to himself, "I can afford all of this cheese." That was me! I could buy anything I wanted, drove Mercedes, had a nice house that I justified because I could have had much bigger, but I thought I was living simply.  I crossed the globe many times over for work, ate at the best restaurants, stayed at the nicest hotels, built a global network of friends and colleagues, I was high profile in my positions, yada yada yada...... I was unstoppable!  And then it happened. 2008.  

I had been running a Korean company for the previous several years that were simply not performing well in the global market so I made the decision in April to wind down operation in the US and Europe. The intent was to take the summer off and spend time with my daughter.  She was fully entrenched into her gymnastics career, in private christian school and I wanted to be part of it all.  I began to see the signs of economic melt down in the housing market but I had no concerns since it would not affect me.  With a big bank account, a healthy college fund established, and a lateral career move established after the summer, I could be a passive observer and count my blessings, right? Wrong again!

My daily routine was watching the disastrous tale that was unfolding in the markets on CNBC.  The carnage was unbelievable but it still didn't hit home, that is until late in 2008 when the financial markets showed signs of impending doom. I was a technology guy and had a job lined up in my field so it still did not register.  The company I was where I was taking my firmly established skill-sets to was a global company making a big push into this space and called my position a "critical executive leadership hire" so I had no concerns.  I maintained the lifestyle and carried on with the plans of the summer with well earned vacations, enjoying time in my modest house that I so carefully remodeled, but never spent a lot of time in. I learned quickly that I can do a lot of things but a green thumb is something that I do not posses!

When the summer ended and all the fun was had, it was time to start my daughter back at her expensive private school and for me to resume conquering the world in my new executive function. The time was October, 2008.  I flew to Texas to meet with corporate, meet my team, go through all of the hiring paperwork, etc.  I had everything but a start date. The company hired 50,000, mostly college recruits, people a year but given the economic conditions, they put a hiring freeze in place.  I, however, was put on an airplane with the assurance of the "critical hire" designation that firmly placed me outside of any hiring freeze. Life is still good!

Then it happened.  Icons of the financial industry started to drop like flies and the term "Too Big To Fail" had no meaning anymore. The ripple effect hit every business, in every industry ,and my large global company derived much of its business from too-big-to-fail companies around the globe. Call after call, week after week, month after month, "be patient, critical hire..........." I held onto those assurances late into the first quarter of 2009 and I watched my modest lifestyle drain my bank account down to levels that worried me but I was still good.  Eventually, the opportunity was pulled altogether so I had to start the process all over.

Now, the economy is in complete in total meltdown and I am a "something" I never thought possible, a victim of my own success and the poster child of somebody that could not get a job, any job, in my field anyway.  Too expensive, too experienced, hiring freezes across the board, man was it tough!  The executive hiring process is a long and arduous one that entails many interviews by phone and in person.  Most require travel and myriad activities. The initial candidate list has usually been developed by executive head hunters that have culled the list to a half dozen or so qualified candidates.  These were not usual times and it was not a good time to be a head hunter!  Companies had more qualified candidates in the hiring pool than they knew what to do with and most were desperate to hang onto their lifestyles, me included!  In no way were they up for paying tens of thousands of dollars to the recruiter for the introduction. Case in point, the source of my next prospective employer came from my own network.  Another well-known global company with a strategic executive position that would forge a new path out of this recession. This time however, 25 interviews, travel, and 6 months competing with 250 other highly qualified candidates!  I made it to the final two.  I knew the other candidate well, for years, but we had very different skill sets so I thought it would be a coin toss.  I received a congratulatory call the night before from him indicating that they had passed on him, so by default they had chosen me.  My call was the next morning but for some reason it didn't feel as though I had prevailed.  My intuition proved correct when the call came to inform me that in fact, I had not gotten the job but that they decided to hire internally! This was the world that we lived in now.  One thing that I am very happy about is that in my final interview, I gave the other guy a glowing recommendation and he eventually got brought on in a different capacity.

Wipe out number 3! It was not until mid 2010 that I took a job out of desperation to keep the lifestyle going!  Worst mistake I have ever made and never to be repeated. Another lesson, never take a job out of desperation and never with a company that is equally as desperate that believe you are the answer to their problems! The time will be short, the leash will get tighter by the day and your psychological well being will diminish with every passing hour. Second lesson, downsize earlier than I did and never create a situation where that is not an option!

At this point, the Mercedes is gone, the house is gone, the private school is gone, the cash reserve is gone, the college fund is gone, the retirement is gone, but worst, my health is gone.  The back caught up to me, the stress of everything gave me many more deadly health issues.  I traded luxury hotels and fine dining for hospital rooms and heart friendly meals. I was a shadow of my former self and the thing that will haunt me for the rest of my life is that my daughter was with me full time and she had a front row seat to see the destruction of her invincible daddy that ruled the world at one point into a very sick man.

Moving on to the silver lining and a vote for experience, education and faith! Now that I am on the other side, I am glad things played out the way they did. Anybody that knows me well will tell you that I am very different.  I will save the particulars for the book but I will say that I am better in every way now than I ever have been.  If not for the education and experience that I have I would not be able to do what I did.  If not for my faith and my daughter, I would have just checked out, and sad to say many did during those dark days. To be honest, I extended the misery relying on my own strength, desperately trying to restore myself to my former status and position in the world. It was my experience, education and love for my daughter that brought me back financially when, by the grace of God, the exact right opportunity, at the exact right time, dropped into my lap that made me whole again.  It is my 40 year walk with the Lord and the lessons that I learned through all of the pain that taught me how to live today.  Just like any relationship, it's had its ups and downs and I was a bad boy for a while, not in a criminal way but in a very haughty way saying to him, "thanks!  I got this and I'll take it from here!" Glory be to God! If you don't like that statement, don't read my book because credit will be given where it is due!

Now the retirement portion.  Obviously I was forced into retirement but I think it was all part of the plan. With all of the lessons learned and with money to invest, I lived by a couple of key mantras that I now think are incorrect for me, and maybe you. First, since I bombed in the stock market and swore to never do it again, I set out to find a new way that would provide the security into my later years and a healthy college fund (number 3!).  I came access a controversial figure by he name of Dave Ramsey, a faithful icon in the financial planning arena. The core of his principals of being debt free, never investing in a single stock, and here is the big one, RETIRE WITH DIGNITY, were already part of my core. He teaches a course called Financial Peace University that will give you a plan, a method and a new way of thinking about money.  It's offered through many, many churches across the country.  It would be perfectly applicable for the majority of people.  But, this is where I was wrong, and could be wrong again but I think i'm right about this one! The biggie is the definition of Retire With Dignity.

Traditional culture and retirement advice has you on a path to work and save your whole life, build a college fund, work with a financial adviser to build a diversified portfolio that will return a modest 6%. Ramsey is a bit different in that the first order of business is to get out of debt because your get no real gains from investments if your are paying off interest on your debt.  Absolutely agree with this and I am happy to proclaim that I am debt free, always have been until I got into trouble so I am happy to say that it was already part of my core.  This is the benefit of growing up poor and losing it all a couple of times.  He gives you a strategy first and foremost how to get out of debt and re prioritize what is important.  Once you are there, he gives you a strategy for growing your wealth through sensible investments.  The key take away for me was not investing in single stocks, rather pick a mutual fund or other investment fund, with a history of beating the S&P, that spreads your basket over 100's of stocks. He has names that are closer to the 10% figure, which enticed me to learn more. As far as financial advisers, if you go to the traditional, they will talk about some debt is good debt, we disagree for the following reasons, yada yada.......he has a list that won't.

Where we differ is on the definition of Retire with Dignity.  With my body breaking down before my eyes, my energy level diminishing, my mind and memory fading, my daughter in college now under a fully funded college plan, and lack of motivation to play the game any longer, "Dignity" is not waiting for all of these things to get worse, and they will, only to make sure that I am not a burden later.  What enjoyment would come from watching the world pass by when I can't walk anymore? Nobody knows when they will be called home, to wherever that may be, so all of the planning for enjoyment that may never come?  Inheritance going to those that won't really appreciate it? NO THANKS!

Another area where my life experience and biblical teachings come in. I consider the apostle Paul a kindrid spirit because I share the same mindset when he says:

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

My history and experiences in this world have taught me both.  I get teased about my frugality constantly but there is a purpose and a reason! One of my idols in business is Elon Musk, not just for his brilliance when it comes to technology but what he did to prepare himself for this success.  When he had nothing to speak of while in college, he create the $1 per day challenge for himself.  If he could do it, he figured he was smart enough that no matter what happened, he could make and live on $1/day. So yeah, go ahead and make fun of me for shopping at the 99 Cent store!

So here I am, living a dream! The fact that I am blessed in every way is not missed on me! I spend money where I have to and won't where I don't.  If I am cheap on Betty or Xiffy it will cost me more later, in money and safety.  If I eat out at all, it is always happy hour and usually no more than $10, a special celebratory dinner for myself (Kicken Crab!) or I am treating someone to a meal out of gratitude or love.  I consider the implications of EVERY dollar I spend and I can't justify overpaying for anything e.g. the same bag of ice for 99 cents or for 2.50! I don't have a mortgage so slip fees and Betty related travel expenses are justified and still much less than most.  The most important part is I balance self indulgence (if you wan't to call it that) with giving.

Can anybody do this? NO!  The stars, my nature, and timing all just suddenly aligned perfectly.  My daughter is now in college and it's paid for, I report to nobody but the man above, I have no debt, everything is done in a proper manner i.e. insurance, medical, etc.....I am surrounded by loving and supportive people that know me.  Will I be living on a fairway of Pebble Beach when I get older? NO.  Do I mind just getting by on social security? NO! Can I see around the corners of life yet and believe that I am always making the right choices for my future? Who can say that! The main thing is i'm able, happy, enjoying life and I have a life to reflect on to grade myself and the peace that comes with doing a good job.  My only goal in life now is to hear the words, "well done my good and faithful servant"

Don't know why, but I never wrote a word about XIFFY!!!!

I'm now inspired to write on a regular basis but I can't start until I catch up.  It's important to write as I go so I don't have to trust my recollection of events, as I will attempt to do here.  So lets get started.......

To tell the story of XIFFY is to tell the story from a little boys perspective.  As a youngster, I would sit on the public dock at 19th street on the bay and watch the boats, listen to the fish jump, hear the harbor seals in the distance with an occasional sighting, and I would wonder what my life would be on the water.  Not dreaming of it but resigned to the fact that, although present and accounted for, I was not part of the Newport elite that grew up sailing, attending NHHS or CDM, so what would I do? Fisherman? Boat services to the rich? What I really dreamed about was being the captain of a water taxi and maybe, just maybe, fully realizing the dream of skiperring the Balboa Ferry when I was much older. That was early 80's, now lets enter the virtual time machine to the year 2016 and leave the details for Chasing The Shade.

Betty the Rialta was never a lifelong dream but the freedom was. You can only speculate on what that is until you actually live it, 100X greater than you can imagine.  The pacific has always had such a pull on me that my travels are limited, by design, to see the best Godly creations the west coast has to offer, and I have seen 90%. But, seeing it and being part of it are vastly different!  As much as I was enjoying the travels, something was missing. I wanted to be on the water! My childhood is the harbor so I thought a Duffy would suffice. Did it and nope.  Got boring in a hurry and, in my mind, very expensive to putt around in a golf cart.

I didn't think sailing was the answer because I had never done it, or even been on a boat under sail for that matter. While everyone else my age was learning to sail, I was spending all my time at the Point, the Wedge or the arcades around the Newport Peir. Now I'm older, retired and have a lot of time on my hands.  That being said, out of nowhere I had a desire to learn to sail, finally. So, being the impetuous guy that I am, I signed up at OCC School of Sailing and Seamanship.  On my first day I was greeted in the harbor with Betty the Sailboat.  Serendipity? Maybe.

The first phase was classroom instruction on the Points of Sail.  I was lost with no frame of reference or experience to draw from. I learn by doing so when the time came to get to our craft, a Harbor 20, I was mesmerized by the GIANT boat that I was going to help sail with my classmate and instructor. First we had to learn how to get a boat ready to sail so we went through the process of removing the sail covers, rigging the boat and learning the compulsory safety lessons.  No engine, so we maneuvered the boat to the proper positon by hand, I didn't care for that bit too much.  We raised the main sail and I could feel the power of the wind on the sail and I felt an excitement that I had never felt.  Then we unfurled the jib and began cooking down the harbor!  I literally screamed like a giddy schoolboy "WERE SAILING." We tacked, we gybed, we learned critical expressions that stay with me always e.g. "when in doubt, let it out" and "tiller towards trouble." What really got me is that my first instruction was in 25 knotts of wind so we got to learn more in a day than most would under normal conditions.  I was hooked because every day would be like this, right?

That was it! Signed, Sealed and Delivered. I am the grasshopper so you know that after another class I was ready to do it on my own.  So, I rented a little harbor 14 with my daughter in the Oceanside Harbor.  She had no experience at all and I was happy to share the myriad lessons learned in my vast experience.  I was confident because all boats are the same, right? Lesson one, the harbor 20 has a self tacking jib, the harbor 14 does not.  Who figured it out? My daughter!  Lesson 2, no, every day is not 25 knotts and not all harbors are the same.  In this case, it was a very good thing. For the next couple of hours we tacked very slowly upwind and when I wasn't getting tangled up in fishing lines and getting yelled at, I couldn't figure out why we were seemingly going backwards. Back to the classroom.

Another lesson, more of the same. With a little experience under my belt, the academic portion was beginning to settle in. I really only knew enough to be dangerous at that point.  Next up, rent a little sail boat in Balboa but this time, invite my sister (not a sailor and not at home on a small boat.  Some just need a table with a Margarita.) The wisest thing I have ever done is invite salty old dog mackrat to the sail. He taught me things that I could not, or would not be allowed, to learn in class.  I held the main sheet in my left hand and the tiller in my right most of the time.  I was able to test the boundaries of the points of sail and really get a FEELING for sailing.  Mackrat's calm demeanor and decades of experience taught me more in that short session than all of the classes combined.

Back to sailing class. I heard nothing in the classroom because I was so anxious to get back on the GIANT boat!  Once there, I got to show off my new skills and all I kept hearing is "that's too much, head up" and "heeling is not efficient!"

That was it, I had boat fever!  Had to have one and had to have it now!  I thought Betty gave me freedom but I realized a whole new world was opened up to me now. I do what I do and watched every video I could find and read every article.  There's a term in academia, qausi-reflective, meaning doing only the research that supports your position.  Well, my position was I want, what I want and I want it now.  This was a dangerous approach but I found plenty of research to suggest the best way to learn was just to do it. So I started the search for a sail boat, inspired by mackrat, his boat and tales of Moss landing.

I know this is a long way to the well and you are probably thinking, what's this got to do with Xiffy? Well here we are.  My impetuous desires lead me to a boat that looked good, a 40' Erikson.  I had a fateful breakfast at Charlies Chili with the Mackrat, showed him and we even called on it.  Immediately, he disqualified it for reasons that i could not understand at the time. At the end of the conversation he causally says, remember when Tanya posted that she's got a Cal 25 for sale?  You should go look at it since its local.  Well, he told me that I needed a 40 footer so that is all I was focused on.  25 foot? What am I going to do with that? Didn't know what it was but others that I researched were old, neglected and not worth my time.  Nevertheless, I inquired. She didn't know what I was talking about at first so I was really perplexed at that point.  Then, "oh, you mean my brothers boat down at balboa island?"  We made arrangements for a showing.  I saw it and was VERY impressed, even though I had no idea what I was looking at.  I could picture my daughter falling in love with it so I brought her down right away to have a look, and she did, but I haven't seen her since.

I reported my findings back to mackrat and he was skeptical of the year, the condition of a 1969, and all for very valid reasons.  I convinced him to go with me to have a look and when he did, his eyes lit up.  This was a very special boat!  The deal was made on the spot and plans were made for a name change from Xiphias (Latin for Swordfish) to Simius (latin for Monkey.) The more time I spent with the boat, the more I learned about the history of it, and the very special previous owner. I decided the Monkey did not deserve such a gift and that it was more important to preserve the legacy of Xiphias, but I still did not like the name.  It was when the lovely grand daughter referred to her as Ziffy that I was convinced.

I will cut it short from here because most know the story.  But here is what has been done, or in the works, so far:

1. Engine did not work so rebuilt corroborator, still not running properly so replaced with new carb
2. Detail head to tow.
3. Charge existing Trojan batteries, not good enough, new Trojans
4. New dedicated start battery
5. New Brass pelican hooks for the jib
6. Rig the main and jib halyards and sheets
7. New Sail Cover
8. New Head Sail Bag
9. New 12volt outlets for the cabin interior with voltage meter
10. New bow light
11. Install ST 1000 Raymarine Auto Tiller
12. Install new Raymarine A78 GPS plotter, depth and fish finder, sonar,.......
13. Integrate VHF, Plotter and Autotiller
14. New bumpers hooks
15. New cockpit and interior cushion coverings
16. Cut 150 head sail for visibility
17. Bilge Pump
18. New Bottom Paint
19. Lazy Jacks
20. Party Size Magna Kettle Gas Grill

Seems like I'm missing a bunch but that's the heart of it all.  The learning curve in this whole process is invaluable and I'm now 90% comfortable with her on the water and at the dock. I'm very much looking forward to my future plans with her, to be revealed in a separate post.

The most appropriate and only image to conclude this post and to bring everything full circle is this.....

19th Street Public Dock, nuff said!!